There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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