I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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