Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
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