Don't worry. I has chaperone.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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