Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
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She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
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So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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