next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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