A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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