i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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