Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize