Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Let's paint friendship bongs
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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