i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize