the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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