even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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