Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
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The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
A bitchslap is in order.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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