he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize