OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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