Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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