capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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