How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
COCAINE IS GR8
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize