I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize