I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You don't make any sense
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