tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
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I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
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Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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