There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
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If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
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I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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