We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
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