ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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