So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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