my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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