guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize