well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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