It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize