two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
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When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
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Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
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