Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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