I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize