I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize