Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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