happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize