so that wasnt chicken after all
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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