Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
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And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
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Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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