am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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