I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize