We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
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hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
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Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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