So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
My vagina just clenched in fear
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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