evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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