I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize