I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize