the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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