Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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