Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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