On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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