I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize