There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
ttyl tear gas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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