i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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