Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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